Mango Loco™

Spiraling but not surprised by the victory of now-president Javier Milei, I came across some aspects of his personal lore that had escaped me, partly out of disinterest and partly from the saturation of the electoral battle. Of all of them, there is one I find particularly charming: the affinity between President Milei and the Monster energy drink flavor "Mango Loco."

The drink's name alone is good enough to compel you to look for more information. A few minutes of browsing YouTube can reveal some interesting facts. For example, in other countries it also keeps the name, "mango loco" is a dessert in some Central American country, and a K-pop, J-pop, Asian-pop band (?) dedicated a song to it.

But the best part of the whole thing comes at the precise moment when President Milei goes public about his relationship with the drink. In a radio interview with journalist Esteban Trebucq, he is asked about his particular interest in energy drinks, to which the then-candidate replies, "Mango Loco, yes, Mango Loco is a one-way street..."

The video clip is spectacular for one reason: Milei's face when he states that Mango Loco "is a one-way street." Milei laughs, turns a bit red, and admits he has a problem controlling his sugar intake. Which, as an unintended effect, makes him look like a pretty healthy guy, since he talks about Mango Loco with a reckless reverence much like someone less healthy might speak about some kind of synthetic drug. It's as if Guillermo Coppola were talking about cocaine, but on a completely different scale. This video gives me absolute certainty that Milei's only problematic consumption is sugar.

The statement and the video clip are good enough to spark interest in the drink. What sets Mango Loco apart from the rest of Monster's flavors?

The curiosity it sparks in me forces me to go out looking for a Mango Loco around the neighborhood. The first thing I notice is that the corner kiosk is covered in Monster logos, something I hadn't even registered until now. I walk into the kiosk, but their fridges have no Mango Loco.

I then check two other Chinese supermarkets and a Dia% supermarket. None of them have it. Defeated, I walk to the Carrefour Express, where my gut feeling tells me they won't have it either. As soon as I walk in, I scan the aisles and find nothing. Out of sheer frustration, I ask the stock clerk where the "energy drinks" are (as if saying the word Monster would embarrass me), and he points me to a small cooler right by the door. I walk over to the cooler I missed when I came in (biases act as cognitive blind spots), open it, and grab two cans of the star of the first libertarian summer: Mango Loco.

I post a photo with the two cans. To my surprise, a large number of people reply that they drink it and that it's "the best Monster variety," which implicitly suggests there's a whole group of people who have tried more than one Monster flavor. Quite a surprise for me, having lived in a bubble where the phrase "Mango Loco" didn't exist.

With the logistics sorted, all that was left was to try it. I do it that same afternoon while recording an episode of our show "Circulo Vicioso" with Pablo Wasserman. We try Mango Loco live. Normal flavor, good effect, end of the joke.

But by doing it on a show that around four thousand people watch per week, the joke continues with delayed momentum. Our dear Naweelon (a regular on the show and an old-school radio listener) sends me a clip of a guy making a fruit salad with Mango Loco. The video is an absolute gem that completely transcends Milei's involvement. We leave Milei's lore behind and enter the lore of Mango Loco.

"Wait, you see it? And now I chose this one, this is the fruit salad of the future, of summer... I chose Monster, shoutout to them, Monster, Mango Loco! Look at this, look at this."

The one-minute video starring Marcelo (Marce Show) goes viral thanks to the digestion machinery of the "patria clipera" -- Instagram, TikTok, YouTube Shorts.

The video itself is pretty funny, especially Marcelo's pronunciation when he says "Mango Loco" and above all the concept of "salad of the future."

I get a bit esoteric and think about how those brief fifteen seconds condensed all the meanings that foreshadowed the libertarian summer: seeing it or not seeing it, the future, Mango Loco as a stand-in for Milei. In the wild clairvoyance of Marce Show for unknowingly being an oracle of the era. Or perhaps it's simply that I'm spiraling from a sugar overdose.

In just a few days, the Mango Loco concept gave me everything I expected from it and more. The drink, on the other hand, as Bixi rightly said, is a toll-free highway to diabetes, so I'm going to have to avoid it. Besides, I already consume enough sugar with Coca-Cola in a can.

But that's material for another post.